Water Crackers
more like the opposite of water, these crackers have a definite shape and are dry.
“Water Crackers” are mid. Let’s get into it.
First of all, what’s up with the name? I almost googled it, but quickly found I didn’t care enough to follow through1. If you know why water crackers are called water crackers or have qualifications that make you an educated guesser, please share your thoughts.
Flavor Analysis
Ok, now onto the flavor. Water crackers don’t really have much of a flavor. They taste like if someone mixed plain unseasoned flour with plain unseasoned water and then baked them on low heat. That’s almost certainly how they are prepared, but, again, I don’t really care enough to investigate2.
The flavor is extramild and could not possibly offend anyone. The only things I don’t think would pair well with Water Crackers are high quality ingredients you actually enjoy because adding the cracker to those types of ingredients won’t do you any favors.
Texture Analysis
The texture of these is very similar to if someone decorated cardboard to look like a perforated tortilla. It has absolutely no bend and is brittle with some bumps. When you bite into one of these they snap immediately with pretty much no give. They’re thicker than chips though, so I’ll give them that.
The notable thing about the texture is the mouthfeel. Water crackers return to their flour component fairly immediately upon contact with your saliva, so you’re not going to want to spend a lot of time chewing on them unless you’re planning to make papier-mâché or something later. They will absorb all of the moisture in your mouth within moments, so do have a beverage handy if you intend to make a meal out of these.
Overall Strategy
When I encounter water crackers on a charcuterie boârd, my strategy is to take a few and put them on my plate like a normal person. Then I eat all the things I actually want to eat with the little toothpicks or even my hands instead of the bland crackers and leave the crackers for if I get bored later.
If anyone ever tries to confront me about eating all the good ingredients from the board and leaving only bland crackers for everyone else, I will turn it around on them like this:
“I ate 2 sleeves of water crackers already before I got here. Do you really think I need more?”
Rating
Water crackers are not that good, but they are also not the worst snack out there. I give them a 4/10.
Hopefully after reading this you have all the tools you need to approach water crackers with confidence. Let me know in the comments if this article was helpful.
nothing to add here, I just thought a footnote might be nice to include
this time I did really want to see if I was right, so I did end up investigating. Turns out, I was right. so apparently water crackers are basically mini-hardtacks.
excellent reporting thank you
Nailed it!